Providence

The Rain Song

2010-04-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

The thirst pulls my body down and I don’t know how to get up with out its quench
The promise of a fountain is better then a promise of a drought
But as I wait the tears of longing fills my cup and I ask you to take it from me
Replace my cup with heavenly water that flows freely and endlessly.
It will remind me of who I am and who you want me to be.
Your song swells the clouds and releases the heaviness of there lining
The first drop of water sends a shiver up my chest and leaves me tingling
With in seconds I am coated with its refreshing caress and my face lifts up to you
I drink and drink and fill the emptiness with the rain of your song
Your song is so sweet.

Anna

Awana's Awards Night 2010

2010-04-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

We just took some pictures on Awana Awards night. This is my third year helping in Awana's. The kids are amazing and we always have a fun time!!

Some Trans-Siberian Orchestra November 2009

2009-12-06T11:15:00.000-08:00

The Day Before Halloween

2009-11-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

This is picture of the kids the day before halloween at school dressed up as their favorite story book character! Amber is a pig from the 3 little pigs, Logan is Aslan the Lion from Narnia and Bailey is Pippy Longstocking!!

Mobridge South Dakota

2009-11-10T18:28:00.000-08:00

CRAZY COW

This cow was so funny, it just stood in the middle of the road and looked at us like we were crazy!

SUPER ALCO PURSE

I have been looking for a new purse for a few months now and I found exactly what I was looking for at SUPER ALCO! (The sleeping dog in the background is Buddy, he doesn't seem that excited for)

SITTING BULL

From left to right and the cool ones being the ones standing (aka. tweens) Brooklyn, Islin, Aishlee, Rylee, Amber, Jaydee, Logan and Bailey.

OUR TURN

From left to right and the cool ones being the ones standing - Anna, Carla and Nicole....HeHe

MOM DO WE HAVE TOO??

"YES AND YOU BETTER SMILE NICE OR WE AREN'T GOING TO BURGER KING!"

Women of Faith

2009-10-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

What an amazing weekend! So much good stuff it's hard to narrow down my favorite's. But if I had to pick the most profound moment, it was when one of the speakers was talking about a Psalm I wrote about back in the spring. "Be still and know that I am GOD". She said the Hebrew word for Be still is.......Let Go! Let Go and know that I am God. Let go of control, let go of worry, let go of the pain, just let go.
For some reason the "Let go" was so much louder to me then the "Be still". Spending so many years trying to control the outcome to work so hard at helping and fixing and explaining! When I had to let go of the control I knew that the outcome might not be what I had wanted and all my friends know I like to get my way!
As I let go of things of this world I hold on to God with both hands this time! And let the circumstances in my life be what they are, because I know it is God who is in complete control even though the world out of control.
I am thankful he is always a step or 2 or 300 ahead and reminds me everyday "I told you so, in my word, that you read 4 months ago".

-Anna

A extremely boring post

2009-10-14T03:57:00.000-07:00

Nothing really new to post, except I had a bad night last night and am feeling like an OPTOMISTIC machine this morning! WOMEN and their darn FEELINGS :)

Other news.........hmmmmmm, ya all I got is Women of Faith starts friday! Praise God cause this lady needs a refresher, I am really in a rut. I hope I spelt rut correctly, because I have never actually used that word before in my 30 years of writing!

-Anna

Locked

2009-10-04T18:34:00.000-07:00

He has exposed my children to 2 girlfriends in 2 months and we aren't even divorsed yet!!! This blog is going to be locked, so I can speak freely and openly. Please know I don't want to trash talk, but I need to be able to write what is on my mind......Good and Bad!

2009-10-04T06:40:00.000-07:00

I have had an extreemly hard weekend so far. I have enjoyed my friend time's Friday and Saturday night, but I am just burning inside with such anger I can't see straight. I am so furious at certain people right now and I just need to lay it out today at church to Jesus today.

I know that my Heavenly Father loves my children more than I do, so I will contiually cry out to him to protect them mind, body and soul. Protect their eyes from the terrible example people are showing them. Protect their ears from the terrible things that are being said to them. Protect their hearts and fill them with the power of the holy spirit. Protect their bodies and keep them pure.

Knowing I am doing his will is my motivator. I am so thankful for the light in my life and the power of his love. He knows the heart of my desires and my love for my children is in the center.

Anna

I believe people can CHANGE

2009-09-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

I believe people can change, but I also believe people will choose not to. So what hope do we really have? I hoped for change and lived as if change had accured. I had faith in God to do miracles, if I only prayed hard enough......or if I was a more helpful / dedicated wife. Making sure everyones needs were met, then, oh yes then a kind husband would emerge.

A part of me is discouraged, but another part of me is more hopeful then before......Because I am enough! I don't need to be more anything, I can't do more!!! I am a full time mom, full time employee, full time servant of Jesus! What more is there? I have hope that God will use this blurp in my life to showcase to the world that at the end of the day we are the only one resonsible for our lives. And as much as we want to see others succeed and prosper, we have to take care of ourselves if we are going to bring light to a dark world.

Through it all I remember Romans 8:28 - And you know GOD causes all things to work for GOOD for those who love GOD and those who are called according to his purpose.

I don't know why my marriage failed, because God knows I prayed my heart out for it. And I don't understand why my ex-husband choose the path he did. But I do know that my forever loving God has Good things planned for me.

So I might be down, but that just helps me to bow down lower to my KING and praise him for the mercy he has shown me.

~Anna

He's just to nice :)

2009-09-13T12:14:00.001-07:00

Have you ever heard a girl say......

"He's just to nice"

What does that mean?

It can't really mean he's to nice!

Or does it?

(FLASHBACK 15 YEARS AGO)

I remember a boy .... ok, maybe I remember at least 100 boys that I said were to nice, but I don't think that is what I really thought. I remember thinking he is a nice guy, but he wasn't tough enough! I wanted a confident, strong (inside/ok, maybe outside too), tough guy. The kinda guy who could stand up to me and stand up for me!! Of course I wanted him to be nice, but I also wanted him to be able to be mean if necessary. I wanted a guy who tackled the guys on the football field hard and yet I wanted him to tackle me gently.

Am I right here ladies?

Or ...... Are some guys just to nice?????

What we really should be saying is your a nice boy, but what I want is a MAN!

Now where do I find one of those?

To be continued........

Cousins

2009-09-06T10:58:00.001-07:00

I thought this collage deserved its own post :)

Trip highlights

2009-09-06T06:27:00.000-07:00

Some highlights I want to share from our vacation!

(A rest stop at about 10,000 feet up the bear tooth pass. Brooklyn,Bailey,Amber,Logan &Rylee)

The drive into Yellowstone from the Bear Tooth pass was the most Adventurous. Those mountains were CRAZY beautiful! It took way longer going that way, but it was worth it.

(Bailey,Amber & Logan at a beach in San Clemente... lots of rocks=lots of FUN!)

My week in San Diego was the most relaxing. I loved spending the week with BB, Sawyer, Dad, Mom and Patrick. We had plenty of time to just BE. Be silly, Be happy, just Be together :)

(I really wanted Logan to smile for this picture.......but we all know how that goes!!)

San Fransisco/Napa was the most exciting! I loved seeing all the sights and visiting with Jeremy and Sharhzad in Mill Valley. Their apartment was so cute and comfortable.

Out of Order

2009-09-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

I have so many pictures to post from the trip and things I want to share about it, but......
I need to write tonight, for me. The thought of putting my feelings on paper seems much more perminent to me then saying them out loud. I know that sounds weird because i am really loud and I am sure lots more people hear me talk then read what I write. I only know of one person who reads this and so my thinking is really confused! So what I feel....

I feel really alone - but I know I'm not
I feel really scared - but I know I am safe
I feel really ashamed - but I didn't do anything wrong
I feel really sad - but really I am happy

How can emotions be so conflicting?? And how can I feel two things so completely opposite at the same time? Am I balanced or Bonkers?

Summer Vacation Part 1

2009-08-05T02:59:00.000-07:00

The road trippin' crew from North Dakota at a fountain in the Temple Square area

The four girls at the fountain area of a outdoor mall in Salt Lake

Bailey, Rylee, Logan, Amber and Brooklyn in the Temple Square area of Salt Lake

Logan was hoping to see a live bear in Yellowstone....I am glad we didn't!

This is at the Painted pots geyser area in Yellowstone, i love logan's smile in this one :)

Bailey and Amber sitting on a rock at the picnic area in yellowstone.

Bailey and Brooklyn in front of a geyser in Yellowstone

Be still and know that I am God

2009-07-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

A little poem to vent some steam, sometimes the hardest thing is to sit and let God fight the battles for you.

I see your punches before you throw them
So I can manuver myself to avoid the hit
I don't actually have to beat you down
Because your exaustion cripples your wit
You try to fight me in the worldly way
And you find yourself unfit
I don't even move a tear your way
Because my loves fire has been lit
I should feel sorry for your suffering
But I guess thats what you get
Don't forget who started this
Now you can ponder this IN THE PIT!
~Anna~

running plan

2009-07-21T11:32:00.001-07:00

Because my june and july where so crazy, I stopped focusing on running. This week I have come up with a new running plan to get me on track for the half marathon next May. I will spend the rest of July working on trying to run 3 miles again. Then starting in August I want to add a mile a month to my workout routine. So by December I would like to be able to run 8 miles. If I keep it going, I will be up to 13 miles by May, just in time for the marathon.

Yesterday was a bad run day for me, so I hope tonight I can get in 2 miles and not die. My eating has been better today and that makes a difference. Also I am not coughing as much today, so I think my body is almost better from the sinus infection I had. I have a lot of things stirring in my head today, so I plan to work threw some of it with a kick-ass run!

Training for a marathon

2009-05-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

My first 5k ever was in Fargo, May 9th and I did it in 37 min. I know I can run, now i want to get my time faster. I will be training the rest of may and into june, I hope to do another 5k in july. After experiencing the marathon atmosphere, I have to say I love it. The energy is so fun. You feel like you are surrounded by crazy people, who run for fun and its kinda addicting. I have decided I want to train for the half marathon next year, but I just can't stop thinking how awesome it would be to run a full marathon. I found a 16 week marathon training plan. This week I am suppose to run 3 miles monday, rest tuesday, 4 miles wednesday, 3 miles thursday, rest friday and then run 5 miles saturday. That would give me a total of 15 miles ran all week. It sounds good, but I have a year to train, not 16 weeks. Soooo.... I will run 2 miles monday, rest tuesday, 3 miles wednesday, 2 miles thursday, rest friday and then try to run 4 miles on Saturday. I can just try!!!

What an idiot

2009-04-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

The psycological def. for idiot is - a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.
Yep that is me. Actually, when your being an idiot you don't even know it, so its not so bad. But when you look back and realize what a stupid choice you made, that's when it sinks in......OUCH! How could I have been such an IDIOT! Oh please God, give me the wisdom from now on to make smart choices and not be an idiot the rest of my life - Amen

Some poems

2009-04-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

Find Me
Lost in the depths and hiding in the root
That is where you can find me
Hide and seek is my favorite game
That is where you can find me
Water around and rocks beneath
That is where you can find me
Only the prepared can climb to this height
That is where you can find me
I have a box so I can stand on top
That is where you can find me
There isn't a place I will not be
That is where you can find me
~Anna~

Jaded Soul
Smeared in a Lost Time
Could there be a more uninviting event
Were things completed before I knew
Do I even have a chance
If I beg and plead until I loose consciousness
Will you over take my enemy and let me claim victory
The earth might shake when I shout tonight
I am at WAR;
The blood shed is beyond measure I must retreat
For I don’t remember what I am fighting for anymore
Is it just to watch myself bleed
Am I a savage that knows no better
The rot of my flesh smells of a jaded soul
I can’t escape the stench
I must sing to forget, I must sing to remember
What I am doing and where I am going
My eyes distort the truth
So I must see threw your eyes of time
Forgive me from things I don’t know
~Anna~

Something Sweet
I will know by your fruit
Well, the fruit here is bad
I taste its blandness daily
My tongue and my stomach have developed calluses
And now it is full of thorns
Is it such a crime to crave something sweet and pure
I go to bed and dream of Sugar
But my sores must heal so I can taste truth again
And soon I will have fruit that is sweet
It will be refreshing and clean and filling
~Anna~

Butterfly

2009-04-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

"What the Caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Thanks Nicole for this quote!